Ranking the Best Cold Opens from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ranking the Best Cold Opens from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

If you're a fan of "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," then you know the cold opens are pure comedy gold – the perfect ice-breakers that get us giggling before diving into the episode's main plot. From Jake Peralta's shenanigans to Captain Holt's deadpan delivery, these short segments are what make us fall in love with the 99th precinct over and over again. So, without further ado, let's rank the best cold opens from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" that left us ROFL-ing every single time.

The Backstreet Boys Line-Up

Kicking off our list is the iconic moment from Season 5, Episode 17. If you haven't experienced the joy of Jake Peralta leading a line-up in singing "I Want It That Way," then seriously, what are you even doing with your life? This cold open takes the cake for sheer absurdity and epicness. When the witness joins in at the end, "Number Five, kill my brother," the blend of pure joy and drama is literally perfecto!

Jake's Undercover Badass

Jake Peralta's knack for the dramatic is never more evident than in Season 4, Episode 18, where he goes undercover as a mafia member. The opening scene where Jake casually disarms goons while sipping a cappuccino is the epitome of his cool-but-goofy persona. Of course, the twist at the end – him messing up his own alignment with his mafia title "The Funky Cold Medina" – is vintage Jake.

Gina's Dance Number

We couldn't possibly put together a best-of list without including Gina Linetti. In Season 1, Episode 22, Gina comes strutting into the precinct performing one of the most charismatic dance routines you've ever seen. Complete with death stares and killer moves, it's the surreal confidence that brings this cold open to life. Not to mention, it’s practically impossible to not be mesmerised by Chelsea Peretti’s flawless execution.

Terry Loves Yogurt

Triple-cheese puffs and yogurt – the ultimate Terry Jeffords culinary experience. In Season 1, Episode 8, Terry presents his love for yogurt so wholeheartedly that you can't help but admire the big guy's unwavering love for the creamy treat. His enthusiasm is both contagious and hilarious, making this cold open unforgettable. Plus, his commanding, "Terry loves yogurt!" is a catchphrase for the ages.

Captain Holt's Robot Impression

Season 2, Episode 12 gives us Captain Holt in possibly his wittiest cold open moment. When Holt decides to delight the precinct with his impersonation of a robot – a dry, stiff performance that only his character could pull off – the team's reactions are priceless. Seeing the usually stern captain cut loose just enough to keep his face straight is unbeatable comedy.

Boyle's Food Truck Obsession

Charles Boyle's love for culinary delights is no secret, but in Season 3, Episode 12, it reaches epic levels. Boyle forgets his professional duties upon the arrival of a new food truck by the precinct. His sheer excitement and eventual mortification when his lunch-box is questioned solidifies his status as the precinct's lovable foodie – easily one of the best cold opens for its sheer relatability.

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Kwazy Kupcakes Addiction

Detective Rosa Diaz, known for her stone-cold demeanour, surprised everyone in Season 2, Episode 15 when her secret addiction to the mobile game "Kwazy Kupcakes" was revealed. Watching her battle the urge to play while teasing Jake about losing to Captain Holt in a bet adds layers to her character we seldom see. It’s refreshing, hilarious, and shows that even tough cookies have their sweet weaknesses.

Jake Sings on a Bet

Nothing screams "Jake Peralta" like a bit of classic 80s rock. In Season 3, Episode 13, Jake loses a bet and has to serenade the precinct with Europe’s “The Final Countdown” in the break room. The serious dedication Jake puts into his performance, air guitar and all, while the rest of the precinct goes about their business is uproariously funny. Plus, the closing line, "I'm getting divorced!" delivered in his signature style, adds a touch of bittersweet hilarity.

Hitchcock and Scully Pose a Surprise

What kind of shenanigans do you expect from Hitchcock and Scully? Probably some lazy, food-related mischief. But in Season 4, Episode 6, they surprise everyone by successfully completing a presentation and keeping calm under pressure. The kicker? It’s a rare fit of competence that leaves the entire precinct (and audience) in stitches.

Speaking of surprises, how about snagging a fabulous Brooklyn Nine-Nine themed necklace for yourself or a fellow fan? Trust us; it’s a move even Hitchcock and Scully would approve of!

While every cold open from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is worth a watch (or ten), these picks will forever resonate as some of the finest. They capture the essence of what makes the show hilarious, heartwarming and downright entertaining. Until next time, Nine-Niners – no butts about it!

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