Hey there, Fun Squad! Are you ready to dive into the amazing world of Captain Raymond Holt's one-liners? As die-hard Brooklyn Nine-Nine fans, we can't get enough of Holt's deadpan humour and impeccable delivery. So, let's rank the best of the best, shall we? And hey, if you love Holt as much as we do, don’t forget to check out our fantastic Brooklyn Nine-Nine merch to bring a piece of the Nine-Nine into your life!

10. "Everything is garbage."

We kick things off with a classic line that's found its way into our daily vocabulary. Captain Holt's ability to sum up a situation with three simple words is truly iconic. Whether you've just misplaced your keys or finished an intense Netflix binge, this quote is versatile enough to express your inner frustration in the most hysterical way possible.

9. "Hot damn!"

Do you remember the episode where Holt couldn’t help but exclaim "Hot damn!"? Yeah, neither can we look at a celebratory moment the same way again. This outburst from our normally stoic captain shows his ability to surprise us, keeping the comedy fresh and the audience on their toes. Talk about *mood*!

8. "BONE???"

This gem comes from the infamous Halloween heist episodes. Holt’s complete bewilderment over the word “bone” had us laughing till our sides hurt. Seriously, who else could turn a single word into such a memorable moment? It's a one-word wonder that speaks volumes about Holt's brilliant quirkiness.

7. "Nine-Nine!"

You didn’t think we’d exclude the signature "Nine-Nine!" rallying cry, did you? Captain Holt’s enthusiastic shouts in unison with his team are pure joy. This one-liner isn't just a catchphrase; it's a reminder of the fantastic camaraderie that makes the Nine-Nine simply unbeatable. When you've got team spirit this strong, you've got to show it off!

6. "I've only had Cheddar for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself."

If you're a dog lover, you totally get it. Captain Holt’s declaration of love for his pet corgi, Cheddar, is both hilarious and touching. It perfectly captures Holt’s unique way of expressing emotions, making it clear that Cheddar isn't just a dog; he’s family.

5. "If you're here, who's guarding Hades?"

Holt’s biting sarcasm is razor-sharp in this line directed at Gina. His deadpan yet poetic delivery makes it an instant classic. It's these moments of brilliant wit that make Holt such a magnetic character, capable of melting even the toughest of hearts with his clever comebacks.

4. "I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes. I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got this."

This might be one of the few times we see Holt acting...well, a bit out of character. But that’s why we love it! Watching him become unexpectedly obsessed with a mobile game is priceless. It’s a perfect example that even the most composed individuals can have their quirky moments, making us love him even more.

3. "The English language cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I'm incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face."

If you’ve ever struggled to find the right words, then you can totally relate to Captain Holt’s endeavour to use emojis. It’s both hilarious and oddly relatable, making it one of our top picks. Plus, who doesn't love the mental image of Holt going all in for the winky face?

2. "Bring me a blanket. An HR complaint has made me cold."

This side-splitting line is a testament to Holt's unruffled demeanour even in the face of a complaint. The sheer absurdity of needing a blanket over an HR issue has made this one a fan favourite. It’s the kind of thing that you can sneak into any office situation for a guaranteed laugh.

1. "Vindication!"

Here we are at the top! Is there any word more satisfying than hearing Holt exclaim "Vindication!"? This line combines his love for justice with his rare bursts of passion, making it the ultimate Holt one-liner. It’s triumphant, it’s grand, and it’s totally Captain Holt.

So, there you have it—our rankings of Captain Holt’s best one-liners that never fail to make us giggle. Got a favourite that didn’t make the list? Let us know in the comments! And don’t forget to grab some cool Brooklyn Nine-Nine notebooks to jot down your own iconic quotes. Happy quoting, Fun Squad!